ChinatownSometimes in the busy-ness of everyday life, I forget to enjoy. At times I feel like I couldn't fit in one more thing edgewise even if I wanted to try. It may not be until after the fact that I realize the significance of what has just occurred.
Just over a week ago Mikaela sat behind the wheel of the Honda for the first time. I drove her out to a quiet country road and let her get in the driver's seat. I silently prayed for patience and calm. Mikaela did great. I think she even enjoyed herself. She won't get her learner's permit until after the first of the year, but I wanted to give her an opportunity to practice first. I only grabbed the wheel about 2 or 3 times, mostly when there were oncoming cars. Of course at that time I realized that my baby was growing up. I knew that there would be a day coming when she will borrow the car keys and leave by herself.
But that's as far as it went in my mind until later... Someday she will drive off to college. And someday she will drive into my driveway with a family of her own. I thought about how I bought that car when I was pregnant with Mikaela 15 years ago. I had been driving a jeep until then, but it shook me all around and I was so sick. For me the Honda was symbolic of leaving the impractical behind and moving on to making more responsible decisions. My life before and my life after kids. Now here was that same child--the one who rode in the back eating french fries in her carseat--sitting in the driver's seat. Funny how all of those thoughts crowded into my head and swept over me like a hot scratchy blanket in the sweltering heat. Maybe I should have enjoyed it more. Maybe we should have driven to get a milkshake afterwards and talked. Maybe I should have brought my camera and taken a photo of her behind the wheel. I guess it's too late to do it over and enjoy it more. But hopefully we made a good memory for Mikaela anyway. And perhaps next time I'll think about the camera and the milkshake. Time moves too quickly sometimes. I want to spend the remaining time that I have with my children in ways that will make happy memories.
Maimie playing "elefun" game