Wednesday, October 19, 2005

My China Doll

Impatient person that I am, I've been thinking a lot about the waiting involved in an adoption. A friend and adoptive mom of two told me that her adoptions were a lot like her pregnancies. Unfortunately, in our case the gestation period has already been considerably longer than the usual nine month "pregnancy". As I await our baby's arrival, amazingly, there is no morning sickness, relatively little weight gain, and only the usual cravings. People don't look at my physical appearance and try to guess my due date. Complete strangers don't put their hand on my stomach at Walmart or smile knowingly. For us there is no wondering about whether it will be a boy or a girl. No need to look at our baby pictures and wonder whose eyes and mouth the baby will inherit. No stretch marks, gastric reflux, sciatic nerve pain, or general discomfort. (Well, I take back the general discomfort part...)

Oddly enough, I almost miss some of these signs of pregnancy. This adoption is so unlike anything we have ever experienced before. Still, I can't help feeling the excitement of the miracle about to happen.

I never would have dreamed that God would choose us--an average, dysfunctional, undeserving family--to be a part of something so extraordinary. It humbles me to think of my daughter being born halfway around the world from us. God knew the circumstances surrounding her birth and arrival at the orphanage. He orchestrated those circumstances. He knew the life she faced in China. He knew that we needed her so much to make our family complete. He knew the blessing she would be to each of us. Through His mercy, God chose to bring this child to America, to our family where she would be loved, cared for, educated, and taught about Jesus. God knew her before He formed her. He had already chosen us to be her family. For that I will forever be grateful.

It's also exciting to think that we won't be responsible for looking over hundreds of photos to "pick" the child of our dreams. It's unnecessary. God has already decided which child should be ours and will use the Chinese officials to make it so.

Sometimes I think of the mother that gave birth to my daughter. She faced a terribly difficult decision and did her best, under the circumstances. I am thankful never to have been faced with such a decision. Gratitude doesn't even begin to express what I feel for this woman. It makes me cry to think of the joys that she won't experience because I will be given the gift of raising her child. Somehow I wish I could tell her that her daughter is very loved and always will be loved, cared for, and cherished as a blessing from God.

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