I'm not sure if it's blogger's block, or if I've just been too bogged down in the mire lately. Either way there hasn't been any bloggin' going on here.
Today marks four months since the day we met Saidie.
Saidie is adorable, funny, busy, stubborn, lovey, prickly, sweet, bossy, sneaky, smart, wonderful, ...did I say adorable?... , and a perfect fit for our family. But she's not entirely able to let down her guard with me in some ways. I don't say this because I blame her. It's really not been that long ago that we upset her whole world, her whole life.
But sometimes I look at her and I see it. It's in her eyes mostly, and sometimes the set of her mouth. She's not sure she's ready to buy into me. I sometimes think maybe she almost wants to, but...perhaps that would mean giving up on her foster mama, or maybe I'm just another in her long line of mother figures who have so far all abandoned her (at least in her way of thinking). Maybe I'm imagining it. Maybe she just doesn't like that this big nosed white lady tells her no, or makes her share, or doesn't allow her to push and pinch her sister, or makes her clean her plate if she wants dessert. Could be a combination.
|Making a snack for the birds|
Maybe it's normal that a 3 1/2 year old and a 40ish year old need time to learn to love each other. But that's okay, too. We do have plenty of that.
|Peeking through the fence|
|Bouquets for mom|
|watching for the birds|
I do know that I'm having a lot of fun with my sweet little Saidie despite the challenges. I couldn't be happier to have her in my life. And I'm confident that someday the feeling will be mutual. Meanwhile I'm grateful to be chosen to parent this amazing gift of a child. And each day God knits together our hearts a little more...